Having sex is like driving a car with stick shift, everyone thinks it’s easy to drive it. In reality, it may not be difficult but it’s also not a child’s play. You think you know what you are doing as it seems only natural and hence, correct, but the same might not be true for your partner. Our needs and wants differ from one another and to expect someone to know about them without actually telling them about it is like expecting a downpour because you spotted one cloud on a sunny day. Communication is the key to having a healthy sexual relationship. Being open to feedback after sex makes a ton of difference and could even make or break a sexual encounter.
Here’s a list of things you need to practice while you’re giving or receiving feedback after sex
Know your likes and dislikes:
This could be a bit of a process for some, but before you can provide feedback to your partner, you need to be aware about the things that you like to do or to be done to you. This can be achieved overtime as you experiment on your own or with your partner. Once you become comfortable with your body, you will understand your likes and dislikes automatically and also form a certain attitude towards your partner.
Don’t instruct, provide feedback:
When you find that your partner is a little lost, don’t go all aristocrat on them and start “instructing”. Be supportive, talk to them and subtly tell them how you like it. Providing feedback is a way of getting the best out of your sessions by being supportive, not aggressive.
Feedback doesn’t always have to be verbal:
There are a lot of ways of providing feedback to your partner. You should always feel comfortable with your personality and in how you communicate during or after sex. It should come to you naturally. That’s why speaking full sentences or having long conversations discussing the whole act isn’t always the best way to communicate if you’re the kind of person who keeps a log of how many words you use in a day. Instead simple sounds or subtle touches or hints can also be enough for your partner to know what’s working and what’s not.
Give feedback only then you’re comfortable:
You don’t have to pressurize yourself to provide feedback to your partner when you’re in the act or as soon as you’re done. Do it only when you’re comfortable enough to talk to your partner about it. It’s completely up to you. Some people might find it better to talk right when they’re in the act, others might prefer the euphoric state that follows the sex to be the best time to communicate.
Focus on the positive aspects:
The whole point of giving and receiving feedback during foreplay or after sex is to build up an atmosphere of trust and strengthen your relationship with your partner. Don’t use this opportunity to point out the negatives. Focus on the positive aspects and try to encourage more of them in your partner.
Let curiosity get the better of you:
The process of sexual discovery is a lifelong journey. Embark on this journey with your partner and continue to learn about each other through giving and receiving feedback positively. Do make it a point to also communicate about how you want to give or receive feedback.
Did we miss anything? Let us know your way of giving feedback to your partner.